Addiction can take many forms, including drugs, alcohol, gambling, and pornography, among others. Living with a partner who has an addiction can be extremely challenging and stressful. If you have a partner with an addiction, it’s important to know that you are not alone. You may ultimately decide you want to end things, but there is also hope for recovery.
Whilst you decide which road to take, here are six strategies for coping with a partner’s addiction.
1. Educate yourself.
The first step in dealing with a partner’s addiction is to educate yourself about the addiction and its effects. You can learn about addiction through books, online resources, and support groups. Understanding the nature of addiction and how it affects your partner can help you empathise with them and be more supportive. However, it is also especially important if there are children in the home. It’s important to know what to be aware of, if you need to make changes, and how urgent they may be. It’s also crucial to decide what you will and will not put up with.
2. Encourage them to get help.
Encourage your partner to seek professional help for their addiction from an expert or qualified therapist or psychiatrist. It is an important step in their recovery. Treatment can help your partner manage their symptoms and provide them with the necessary coping skills. You can also offer to support them in finding treatment options, attending therapy or support groups, and making lifestyle changes. It’s important to remember that you cannot force your partner to seek help, but you can offer your support and encouragement.
3. Set boundaries.
is an important step in dealing with a partner’s addiction. Boundaries help you protect yourself and maintain your own well-being and emotional and mental health. For example, you can set limits on the amount of emotional labour you can provide and refuse to engage in or enable destructive behaviours. You may also need to set boundaries around finances, activities in the home, time spent together or around children, and behaviour that is unacceptable to you. Be clear and consistent with your boundaries and communicate them to your partner in a calm and respectful manner.
4. Practice self-care.
Living with a partner’s addiction can be emotionally draining, so it’s critical to practice self-care. Self-care can include exercise, hobbies, spending time with friends and family, and engaging in other activities that help you relax, such as reading or yoga. Taking care of yourself will help you stay strong and resilient during these difficult times, which is essential when there are also kids to look after.
5. Seek support.
It’s crucial to have a support system when dealing with a partner’s substance abuse or other addiction. You don’t have to go through this alone. Reach out to friends, and family members. You can also consider joining a support group for people in similar situations, or even a therapist or counselor to help you manage your emotions and cope with the situation.
6. Try to be patient and compassionate.
Recovery from addiction is a long and difficult process, and there may be setbacks along the way. It’s important to be patient and compassionate with your partner as they work towards recovery whilst ensuring you and your kids remain safe and well. Celebrate their successes, no matter how small, and offer support and encouragement when they face challenges, but put boundaries in place too.
Living with a partner’s addiction can be a difficult and challenging experience. Recovery is possible for some, and for others, it might not be.
If you are considering separating, please reach out to a therapist, or even a coach (like me!) to talk options and get your ducks in a row. And in the meantime, I hope these strategies help you to cope with a partner’s addiction, even if it is just a little bit. Remember you are not alone.
P.S. DID YOU KNOW?
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- Do you need clarity on whether you should leave your partner or not?
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