How to find (or start) a local single mums group.

I tend to talk about the benefits of joining a local single mums group a lot, and I get asked about it A LOT. It really is the best! Especially for new single mums. And here, I want to answer the question on everyone’s lips…

How do I find a local single mums group?

But first…

Why did I need to find a local single mums group?

When I became a single mum, I knew just one other single mum. But I had a newborn baby, and her kids were in primary school. She had completed the baby phase a long time ago.

Being a new mum (and now a single mum too!), I found I couldn’t relate to other mothers as much. We had different challenges. Apart from my one single mum friend, all my other friends either didn’t have children or were partnered up.

And in that stage when I did first become single? Scared was an understatement. In fact, as I was searching through my old posts in an online pregnancy group I was in, I came across this post I wrote in 2012.

“After a very strained 6 months, my partner and I have decided to break up. About to sign a lease on a place, so I can move out of the house we share. I’m putting off signing the lease because it makes it so real. I’m so terrified of having a baby on my own. Is anyone else doing this on their own? I don’t know how I’m going to cope :(“

Reading this old post, and others, brought up a lot of emotions for me. I remember the feelings I had very clearly. And even though I did sign the lease on that occasion and move out, it was only a month before I broke the lease and moved back in with my ex. I was 7 months pregnant, and at that stage? The terror I felt about doing it on my own far surpassed the anguish I felt in the relationship with my ex.

After my daughter was born and when she was two months old, we did separate for the final time. The anguish I felt in the relationship was now too much.

I became a single mum. I remember how DESPERATE I was to connect with other single mums. Especially single mums who, like me, had a baby.

So that became my mission. I needed to find other single mums with a baby that lived near me. But I had no idea where to find them.

Fast forward five years and I run a local single mums group with 500 members. That’s 500 single mums that live NEAR ME. We are everywhere!

So let’s get down to business…

How does one find a local single mums group?

An online search is the best place to start. And I’m a huge fan of Facebook. Simply type in single mums (or moms, depending on where you are) and then the area you are in (or vice versa).

You can be quite broad and search, for instance, single mums Melbourne (or Melbourne single mums), or narrow it down to a specific area within Melbourne, for instance, St Kilda single mums. Then filter it by tapping on “groups”. You will be surprised by how many groups come up. You may even be able to find something even more niched, for instance – Single Muslim Mums in Melbourne, Melbourne Working Single Mums, Mature Single Mums in Sydney, Single Indian Mums in Sydney, Sunday Tennis for Inner West Single Mums. NYC Uptown single Moms by Choice are all groups that exist.

If you have no luck there, try searching in meetup.com. You can head to the Families category and then further filter your search for single mothers.

Lastly, try a simple google search. You never know what will come up!

Asking people in the local area is also an option. Next time you head to your local GP, library, or community nurse, ask them if they know of any local groups for single mums. Local news spreads around the community, and I know for my group now, a lot of the new members come from word of mouth.

What if you find nothing?

When I started searching, all the groups and meetups that I could find were happening in other areas of Sydney, but a good 45 – 60 minutes away from where I lived. Not exactly convenient to do on a regular basis.

So what if, like me, you search and search, and find nothing?

The way I saw it at the time, I had three options. I could:

Do nothing.
Travel a long way to a meetup group to meet other single mums who probably didn’t live that close to me.
Start my own group for single mums in my local area.

I chose the latter.

Many people ask me about that option too. So here you have it…

How do you start your own single mums group?

I decided to start an online single mums group in my local area and hoped that I would gain some members with babies. When I started the group (in early 2014) I had two members: me, and my one single mum friend.

So how did I get the word out? As I said, now, it’s a lot of word of mouth. But back in 2014, I relied heavily on Facebook to find other single mums in my area. I posted in general online local mother’s groups (many of which had thousands of members), I kept my eye out for posts in these groups relating to single motherhood, many of which were from new single mothers who were struggling, and desperate to find other single mums – just like I was. I commented on these posts and sent them a link to join my group.

After the first week, I had 30 members, and we organized our first event (a meetup in a local park). I know I wasn’t the only one whose life was changed from that moment.

Meeting other single mums was a game changer for me, I felt a belonging to a community of women who truly got it, and connection to women that I have never felt before. I also made some fabulous friends. And it made me a much happier person, and you can read about WHY that was, right here.

Here is what someone from my local single mums group said last week:

Without the support of this single mums group. I would not have found the courage to leave and stand on my own two feet. Without the continued support I’ve received in this group I would have very easily slipped into despair after I left. Even though I have not personally known most the women that have offered me support and advice in this group. It has felt just as supportive to me as if I did.

It inspired me so much so that when I moved to the central coast I helped start a support group for single parents myself.

Thank you Julia Hasche for all your hard work and thank you all the ladies in this group.

If you can meet just one or two other single mums who you connect with, I think it’ll change your life too. And that’s why I feel so passionate about single mums connecting with each other. Particularly new single mums. It was truly one of the most helpful things I did when I became a single mum.

What if you live somewhere very isolated?

This is a really tricky one. If you live in a small town or are isolated from a lot of people you may have to rely on an online support group. There are many around. You can, for instance, request to join the Single Mother Survival Guide Support Forum, which is a Facebook support community I run for single mums from all around the world.

It’s important to find a group that is right for you. Keep in mind that sadly there are also many groups that are quite negative and this may not be the right environment for you.

Do your best with what you have and you’ll be sure to finds some benefits. Best of luck xx

P.S DID YOU KNOW?

Thrive Tribe – the global membership experience for single mothers – will be opening again for enrolment later this year. Join the waitlist here.