Four ways to embrace Mother’s Day as a single mum.

Dreading Mother’s Day? I hear you. This is going to be my fifth Mother’s Day as a single mum, and my sixth as a mum. My first Mother’s Day was the worst. Don’t I sound tragic? My relationship with my daughter’s dad was on the rocks (in fact, we split up about a week later). I had been looking forward to the day; hoping to get some kind words from my partner about how I was the best mum in the universe, and our daughter was so lucky to have me. Yeah right….

I didn’t even get a card. In fact, there was no mention of the words Mother’s Day for the entire day. Certainly no breakfast in bed. Definitely no presents. No spoiling. Absolutely nothing out of the ordinary.

Now, I don’t want to sound present-obsessed, but WTAF? I was a mum now! I wanted some kind of celebration and acknowledgment from my partner about how great I was doing as a new mum. And I got – (in the words of my daughter, when I ask her how school was) – ZERO.

My second Mother’s Day wasn’t much better. It was a bit of a milestone because it was my first Mother’s Day as a single mum. And I never felt more alone. I remember going for a walk with my daughter in her pram to get a coffee and then go to the playground so she could crawl around in the autumn leaves for a while. But when I looking around and saw all the dads at the park with their kids, it was a stark reminder that all the other mums were having sleep-ins and getting some “me-time”. As for me, the day was just like any other. And I couldn’t wait for it to be over.

And now, four years later, I actually look forward to Mother’s Day. It is still a special day because I’ve made it a special day.

Here are four ways to embrace Mother’s Day as a single mum.

1. Buy your own presents.

Instead of telling yourself that you won’t get any presents, take yourself shopping and buy yourself something nice. You could even wrap it up and give it to a family member to give to your child to give to you on Mother’s Day. And the best part? You get to choose it!! That’s pretty damn good. No pretending to like something that you couldn’t care less about.

2. Organise something with your single mum friends.

I’ve said it before and I will keep on saying it, if you haven’t made some single mum friends yet, do it! Yes, it may be awkward at first. And yes, you may have to step out of your comfort zone, but it is so worth it. This is the third year I have organized something for my local single mums’ group, and I cannot wait for this year’s single mama Mother’s Day lunch. There are over 50 mums and kids coming, and it’s going to be a fantastic day. By getting yourself involved in something like this, you can actually celebrate the day with mums in a similar situation to you and look forward to the day.

3. Veg on the couch. Eat pizza. Drink wine. Do whatever you want.

If you don’t know any other single mums to celebrate with, then you have the luxury of doing whatever the heck you want on Mother’s Day. Want to stay in your pajamas all day? Do it! Want to have a movie marathon? Why not? Can’t be bothered to cook? Have baked beans on toast for dinner. No one is there to judge or comment. And you can make the day all about whatever you want to do. Give yourself the day off adulting. Plus your kids will love your fuck it attitude. Finish off the day with a bath and a pamper session.

4. Change your Mother’s Day mindset.

If you think of Mother’s Day as being all about presents and people expressing gratitude to you, you may set yourself up for disappointments. Remember what Mother’s Day is about. It’s not about the presents and affirmations from others about being a great mum. It’s about celebrating and honoring motherhood. And for us, that just means celebrating ourselves and acknowledging everything we do. And for many of us, that’s being two parents rolled into one. So tell yourself what a rock star you are. Look at those beautiful kids of yours, and remind yourself that the reason that they are such incredible little people, is because of you. And you are as awesome AF.

P.S DID YOU KNOW?

You can also book one-on-one coaching with Julia Hasche from wherever you are in the world!

Have you just parted ways with your partner, and feeling lost?
Have you been single for a little while now and need assistance with getting your life back on track and feeling empowered?

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