Being a single mum is demanding. Juggling parenting, finances, and personal well-being can feel overwhelming, even without the added burden of past trauma. The journey of healing from past trauma can feel like navigating uncharted territory while carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. If you’re a single mum carrying wounds from difficult experiences, know this: you’re not alone, and healing is possible. Here are five steps to start your journey in healing from trauma as a single mum.
1. Acknowledge and validate your pain
Ignoring your trauma won’t make it disappear. Suppressed emotions can manifest as anxiety, depression, or unhealthy coping mechanisms. The first step on the road to healing is acknowledging your pain. It’s okay to admit that you’ve been hurt and that you carry scars from the past. Acknowledge your hurt, validate its impact on your life, and create a safe space to process it. Recognising and validating your own experiences is a crucial part of the healing process. When you are ready, give yourself permission to feel whatever emotions arise, whether it’s anger, sadness, fear, or grief. Your feelings are valid, and they deserve to be heard and honoured. Talk to a friend you trust, a trauma-informed coach or therapist, or join a support group specifically for single mums navigating trauma – coming soon: watch this space!
2. Practice self-compassion
Single mums often wear the “superwoman” cape, neglecting their own needs. However, self-compassion is crucial for healing. So, be kind to yourself, forgive past mistakes, be patient with yourself, and celebrate your wins, big or small. Treat yourself with the same care, kindness, and understanding you give your children. Healing takes time and there will be ups and downs along the way. Give yourself permission to rest, prioritise self-care, and honour your own needs and boundaries. You are doing the best you can with the resources you have, and that is enough.
3. Build a support system
No one heals in isolation; you don’t have to navigate the journey of healing alone. Surrounding yourself with supportive people who understand your journey can be a lifeline. Lean on friends, family, therapists, or online communities designed for single mums facing similar challenges who can offer compassion, understanding, and guidance. Having a reliable support network can make a world of difference. Lean on your support network when times get tough, and allow yourself to be vulnerable in their presence. Surround yourself with people who uplift you, and who remind you of your strength and resilience. Remember, healing is a collaborative effort, and having a strong support system can make all the difference.
4. Heal your nervous system
Trauma can leave your nervous system dysregulated, leading to anxiety, irritability, and flashbacks. Therefore, exploring practices like mindfulness, yoga, or deep breathing exercises can calm your nervous system and regain control over your emotional responses. These practices can be especially helpful for regulating difficult emotions in front of your children.
5. Reconnect with your authentic self
Trauma can disconnect you from your true self. Explore activities you enjoyed before the trauma or discover new ones that spark joy and fulfillment. This could be anything from creative pursuits to spending time in nature. Reconnecting with your passions reminds you of your values, strength, and resilience.
6. Embrace healing modalities
Traditionally, trauma has been treated with talk therapy but research has shown that is not always successful. Trauma is also stored in the body and there is often a huge disconnect between what is going on in the mind and the body. Therefore, exploring different healing modalities that resonate with you and incorporating them into your daily life can be very beneficial. This could include therapy or IFS coaching, somatic experiencing, mindfulness practices, meditation, yoga, journaling, art therapy, or spending time in nature. Find what works for you and make it a regular part of your self-care routine. These practices can help you integrate trauma, process your emotions, release pent-up tension, and cultivate a sense of inner peace and well-being.
7. Focus on personal growth
Use this time of healing as an opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery. Reflect on the lessons you’ve learned from your experiences, and identify areas of your life where you want to grow and evolve. Set goals for yourself, both big and small, and take small steps each day to move closer to achieving them. Celebrate your progress along the way, and don’t be afraid to embrace new opportunities for growth and expansion.
Remember…
As a single mum, you already possess a remarkable level of resilience. You’ve no doubt, been through a lot. So look back and draw upon that inner strength you have gained as you navigate the challenges of healing from trauma. Remind yourself of your past triumphs, of the obstacles you’ve overcome, and the resilience you’ve demonstrated time and time again. Trust in your ability to weather the storms and come out the other side stronger and more resilient.
Healing from trauma as a single mum is a journey of self-discovery, self-compassion, and self-empowerment; it’s not a destination. There will be ups and downs. Be patient with yourself, celebrate your progress, and know that seeking professional help is a sign of strength, not weakness. You are deserving of a life filled with peace, joy, and fulfilling relationships. Remember, you are not alone on this journey. You are strong, you are resilient, and you are worthy of healing and happiness.
Disclaimer: This blog post is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. Please seek professional help if you are struggling with trauma.
P.S. DID YOU KNOW?
You can also book one-on-one coaching with Julia Hasche from wherever you are in the world!
- Do you need clarity on whether you should leave your partner or not?
- Have you just parted ways with your partner, and feeling lost?
- Have you been single for a little while now and need assistance with getting your life back on track and feeling empowered?
Click HERE to read about coaching and to hear from some others who have gone through coaching programs with Julia, and book in here for your 30-minute complimentary Clarity Call.
The purpose of the Clarity Call is:
- For me to get to know you and understand an overview of your current situation and where you are at.
- For us to establish what you need assistance with to move forward.
- To see if we are both comfortable working together.
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