For many single mothers navigating the complexities of separation or divorce, the concept of “quality time” with children can feel overwhelming. I always felt that people assumed my daughter and I had so much quality time together. But it had to be an intentional and active choice. Juggling schedules, managing emotions, and facing co-parenting challenges can leave us wondering how to truly connect with our kids amidst the storm. How do we stay present when there is so much to worry about? But, creating meaningful moments with your children is possible, even amidst the challenges we face.
While quantity matters, it’s the quality of time spent together that leaves a lasting impact. Time is lacking, but the positive is that quality time is all about prioritising meaningful interactions over long or lavish outings. Here are five ideas to have quality time with kids after divorce…
1. Small but Mighty Moments
Quality time doesn’t require grand gestures. It can be as simple as:
- Sharing a meal together: Focus on conversation, not just the food. Ask them about their day, listen actively, and share your own experiences. It’s a tradition I started myself when my daughter started eating food, and I love that we have that time to connect every day.
- Bedtime stories: This classic ritual of reading books together before bed fosters connection, provides comfort, and creates lasting memories. I started doing this when my daughter was a baby and I still love our evening cuddles (even though I am not allowed to call it a cuddle anymore, and my daughter reads to herself now).
- Morning cuddles: Start the day with physical affection and positive interactions. There’s nothing like morning cuddles in bed together. I dread the day this ends.
- Short walks or bike rides: Enjoy fresh air, exercise, and conversation together. I love the morning runs that my daughter joins me on once or twice a week, and our weekend bike rides. It’s an opportunity for us to chat and spend some quality time together.
2. Embrace Rituals
Establish routines and rituals that create a sense of normalcy and stability for your children. This could include:
- Family game nights: Choose games everyone enjoys and focus on laughter and fun. I love our board game afternoons, they are so much fun, despite the competitive nature that comes out in both of us!
- Movie nights: Pick a movie together, cuddle up with popcorn, and create a cozy atmosphere. Ever since I can remember, we have been doing this every Friday night and it’s something we look forward to all week!
- Weekly traditions: Like a “pizza and movie” night or a “breakfast picnic in the park.”
3. Play and Explore Together
Engage your children’s interests through age-appropriate activities:
- For younger children: Read books together, build with blocks, play dress-up, or create art projects.
- For older children: Play board games, go bowling, visit museums, or take a cooking class together.
4. Be Present
Put away distractions like phones and laptops when you’re with your children. In today’s digital age, it’s easy to get lost in screens, but quality time demands presence. Dedicate device-free periods to engage with your children fully. Focus on truly being present in the moment, giving them your undivided attention.
5. Communication is Key
Talk openly and honestly with your children about your divorce in a way they can understand. Address their concerns, validate their feelings, and reassure them of your love and support. Divorce can be confusing and emotionally taxing for children. However, creating a safe space for open dialogue where they can express their feelings and concerns opens up those lines of communication. Regular check-ins allow you to address any anxieties they may have and reassure them of your unwavering love and support.
Remember, quality time with kids after divorce is not about the quantity of time spent, but the quality of the connection created and being in the moment. By incorporating these tips and focusing on genuine connection, you can make the most of your parenting moments, create lasting memories, and have quality time with your kids after divorce.
P.S. DID YOU KNOW?
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- Do you need clarity on whether you should leave your partner or not?
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