Divorce (or separation) can be a deeply emotional and traumatic experience, especially for mums. The weight of navigating single parenthood, emotional upheaval, and a redefined life can feel overwhelming. And as a single mum, the journey of healing from trauma can be particularly challenging. Balancing parenting responsibilities with your own recovery requires dedicated self-care practices that promote holistic healing. By nurturing your soul (as well as your mind and body), you can support your journey towards recovery and find a path to inner peace and resilience. This blog post is tailored specifically for single mums, exploring self-care activities that rebuild, nurture, and strengthen your emotional well-being, and help your soul. Let’s look at nurturing your soul…
Understanding Self-Care for Trauma Recovery
Trauma can leave emotional scars and disrupt your sense of safety. Self-care for healing goes beyond bubble baths and face masks. It’s about creating a holistic approach that addresses the specific needs arising from your experience. Here’s how self-care supports your journey:
- Reduces stress and anxiety: Trauma can heighten stress levels and dysregulate your nervous system. Self-care practices like mindfulness and exercise can bring a sense of calm and nourish your nervous system.
- Improves emotional regulation: Divorce can trigger a rollercoaster of emotions. Self-care helps you develop healthy coping mechanisms to navigate these emotions constructively.
- Boosts self-esteem: Divorce can chip away at your sense of self. Self-care allows you to rediscover your strengths and rebuild your confidence.
- Promotes emotional well-being: Taking care of yourself creates space for emotional healing and fosters a positive outlook.
Nurturing Your Emotional Well-Being
1. Creative Expression
Express yourself through art, music, writing, or any creative outlet that nourishes your soul. These can be therapeutic and help you express emotions that might be difficult to verbalise. Art therapy may also be something to consider. This is where a trained therapist guides you in using creative processes to heal.
2. Connection and Relationships
Surround yourself with supportive and understanding people. Healthy relationships can provide comfort, validation, encouragement, and a sense of belonging. And when you openly share your feelings with friends or family who you trust, it can alleviate feelings of isolation, uplift you, and help you process your emotions.
3. Self-Compassion
Be gentle with yourself and acknowledge that healing is a gradual process. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a loved one. RAIN (a method adapted by Tara Brach from Michele McDonald’s version) encourages people to Recognise what is going on in their bodies, minds and hearts, Allow yourself to experience whatever it is you are experiencing, Investigate more deeply what is going on here, and Nurturing your self and what you (or the parts of you), need at this moment. This is a tool I often use with my clients incorporating Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) as we go. Using affirmations to counter negative thoughts and reinforcing a positive mindset is also something you could try. Remind yourself of your strengths and progress as you go.
4. Connect with Nature
Spend time outdoors in nature. This is so good for the soul. Whether it’s being at the beach, by the water, in the mountains, walking in the bush, or simply sitting in a local park, it can reduce stress, improve your mood, and allow for quiet reflection.
5. Reconnect with Hobbies
Often when we come out of a relationship, we have lost a sense of who we are. If we are coming out of a traumatic experience this can be even more so. Rediscovering activities that bring you joy is a comforting thing that can help remind you of things you loved to do before all of this happened and can help you reconnect with a sense of self.
6. Practice Relaxation Techniques
Relaxation techniques can be so good to help activate your parasympathetic nervous system and help bring you back to a state of calm. Techniques like progressive muscle relaxation (PMR) or guided imagery can promote this deep relaxation and manage stress. This is so good and nourishing for your soul.
7. Boundaries
Putting boundaries in place (and even identifying them in the first place) can be very hard for some people to start to do after potentially being in a situation where they have had to walk on eggshells to keep the peace at home. Learning to say “no” and prioritising your needs is crucial for self-care.
As a divorce coach, I understand the additional challenges mums face. Here are some additional tips:
- Schedule self-care time: Block out time in your calendar, even if it’s just 15 minutes, dedicated solely to self-care activities.
- Seek support from other mums: Connect with support groups or online communities for mums going through divorce. Sharing experiences and gaining encouragement can be invaluable.
- Delegate and ask for help: Don’t be afraid to delegate tasks to your children, co-parent, family, or friends. Asking for help shows strength, not weakness.
Remember: Self-care is a journey, not a destination. There will be good days and bad days. Be patient with yourself, celebrate your progress, and don’t be afraid to adjust your self-care practices as your needs evolve.
Healing from trauma as a single mum is a complex and deeply personal journey. And your healing journey is unique. By incorporating self-care practices that nurture your soul (as well as your mind and body), you can create a supportive environment for your recovery and rebuild a fulfilling life for yourself and your children. Remember that it’s okay to seek help and take the time you need to heal. You CAN empower yourself to move forward with strength and hope, setting a powerful example for your children along the way.
P.S. DID YOU KNOW?
Thrive Tribe – the global membership experience for single mothers – will be opening again very soon! Join the waitlist here.
PLUS You can book one-on-one coaching with Julia Hasche from wherever you are in the world!
- Do you need clarity on whether you should leave your partner or not?
- Have you just parted ways with your partner, and feeling lost?
- Have you been single for a little while now and need assistance with getting your life back on track and feeling empowered?
Click HERE to read about coaching and to hear from some others who have gone through coaching programs with Julia, and book in here for your 30-minute complimentary Clarity Call.
The purpose of the Clarity Call is:
- For me to get to know you and understand an overview of your current situation and where you are at.
- For us to establish what you need assistance with to move forward.
- To see if we are both comfortable working together.
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