Divorce (or separation) can be a deeply emotional and traumatic experience, especially for mums. The weight of navigating single parenthood, emotional upheaval, and a redefined life can feel overwhelming. And as a single mum, the journey of healing from trauma can be particularly challenging. Balancing parenting responsibilities with your own recovery requires dedicated self-care practices that promote holistic healing. By nurturing your mind (as well as your body and soul), you can support your journey towards recovery and find a path to inner peace and resilience. This blog post is tailored specifically for single mums, exploring self-care activities that rebuild, nurture, and strengthen your mental well-being. Let’s look at nurturing your mind…
Understanding Self-Care for Trauma Recovery
Trauma can leave emotional scars and disrupt your sense of safety. Self-care for healing goes beyond bubble baths and face masks. It’s about creating a holistic approach that addresses the specific needs arising from your experience. Here’s how self-care supports your journey:
- Reduces stress and anxiety: Trauma can heighten stress levels and dysregulate your nervous system. Self-care practices like mindfulness and exercise can bring a sense of calm and nourish your nervous system.
- Improves emotional regulation: Divorce can trigger a rollercoaster of emotions. Self-care helps you develop healthy coping mechanisms to navigate these emotions constructively.
- Boosts self-esteem: Divorce can chip away at your sense of self. Self-care allows you to rediscover your strengths and rebuild your confidence.
- Promotes emotional well-being: Taking care of yourself creates space for emotional healing and fosters a positive outlook.
Nurturing Your Mind and Mental Well-Being
1. Mindfulness and Meditation
Engaging in mindfulness exercises also helps you to stay present and reduce anxiety. Techniques like deep breathing, body scans, and mindful observation of simple everyday activities (like walking, brushing your teeth, playing with your kids, or vacuuming) can help you become more aware of your thoughts and emotions without judgment. Incorporating meditation into your daily routine helps to calm your mind and enhance emotional regulation. Guided meditations focused on healing and relaxation can also be particularly beneficial for nurturing your mind.
2. Practice Gratitude
Cultivating an “attitude of gratitude“, even for small things, can shift your perspective and boost emotional well-being. It helps you to focus, or at least acknowledge, what is going well, what you are happy about, and what you have, rather than what is not going well, what is disappointing, and what is lacking. Write down three things you’re thankful for each day to cultivate a sense of appreciation and hope.
3. Journaling
Nurturing your mind by writing down your thoughts and feelings can be a powerful way to process trauma. Journaling helps you articulate emotions, reflect on your experiences, and gain insights into your healing journey.
4. Challenge negative thoughts
Divorce can lead to harsh self-criticism and rumination. The first step is to notice the thought patterns that are not serving you well. It could even be simple words that make a huge difference, for example, “always”, “never”, or “everyone”. Or perhaps you’re a catastrophiser, or a master of reading other people’s minds, or even “knowing” what’s going to happen in the future. Practice recognising negative thoughts and remembering that thoughts are just thoughts. They are not facts. And then try reframing them into healthier, more empowering, ones. This helps with nurturing your mind.
5. Therapy and Coaching
Working with a therapist who specialises in trauma can provide you with a safe space to process your emotions and develop healthy coping mechanisms. Therapies such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), and Internal Family Systems (IFS) can be particularly effective for healing trauma. Some coaches (like me) are also specifically trained in trauma healing and as a Certified Divorce Coach and Certified Transition and Recovery coach, I am also able to help my clients with strategies to transform trauma and use modalities like CBT, IFS, and somatics work (from a coaching perspective) to support my clients’ healing.
6. Support Groups
Connecting with other single mums who have experienced similar trauma can also be greatly beneficial as it offers a sense of community and understanding. Support groups provide a safe space to share your experiences and learn from others. You can also join my next intake for my trauma coaching and support group.
As a divorce coach, I understand the additional challenges mums face. Here are some additional tips:
- Schedule self-care time: Block out time in your calendar, even if it’s just 15 minutes, dedicated solely to self-care activities.
- Seek support from other mums: Connect with support groups or online communities for mums going through divorce. Sharing experiences and gaining encouragement can be invaluable.
- Delegate and ask for help: Don’t be afraid to delegate tasks to your children, co-parent, family, or friends. Asking for help shows strength, not weakness.
Remember: Self-care is a journey, not a destination. There will be good days and bad days. Be patient with yourself, celebrate your progress, and don’t be afraid to adjust your self-care practices as your needs evolve.
Healing from trauma as a single mum is a complex and deeply personal journey. And your healing journey is unique. By incorporating self-care practices that focus on nurturing your mind (as well as your body and soul), you can create a supportive environment for your recovery and rebuild a fulfilling life for yourself and your children. Remember that it’s okay to seek help and take the time you need to heal. You CAN empower yourself to move forward with strength and hope, setting a powerful example for your children along the way.
P.S. DID YOU KNOW?
Thrive Tribe – the global membership experience for single mothers – will be opening again very soon! Join the waitlist here.
PLUS You can book one-on-one coaching with Julia Hasche from wherever you are in the world!
- Do you need clarity on whether you should leave your partner or not?
- Have you just parted ways with your partner, and feeling lost?
- Have you been single for a little while now and need assistance with getting your life back on track and feeling empowered?
Click HERE to read about coaching and to hear from some others who have gone through coaching programs with Julia, and book in here for your 30-minute complimentary Clarity Call.
The purpose of the Clarity Call is:
- For me to get to know you and understand an overview of your current situation and where you are at.
- For us to establish what you need assistance with to move forward.
- To see if we are both comfortable working together.
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