Ending a relationship is never easy, especially when you’re a mum. No one sets out to become a single parent when they enter a relationship and have kids. Deciding to end a relationship is a challenging and deeply personal journey, especially for mothers navigating all of the associated complexities. It is really hard to bite the bullet and end a bad relationship once and for all. As a divorce coach, I understand the importance of recognising when it’s time to move on for the well-being of both yourself and your children. In this blog post, we’ll explore ten good reasons to move on from your partner or spouse.
1. Domestic violence
Recognising the signs of domestic violence is crucial. If you find yourself in a relationship marked by physical, emotional, financial, sexual, or verbal abuse, it’s essential to prioritise your safety and that of your children. Any form of domestic violence is not okay. Seek support from local domestic violence resources, and remember that you deserve a life free from fear and harm.
If you need help in Australia, some organisations you can reach out to are 1800RESPECT, White Ribbon Australia, and Lifeline.
2. You have a narcissistic partner
A narcissist is a person with a long-term pattern of abnormal behavior, which is characterised by exaggerated feelings of self-importance, excessive need for admiration, and a lack of understanding of other people’s feelings. Living with a narcissistic partner can be emotionally draining and detrimental to your well-being. If you constantly feel belittled, manipulated, or devalued, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship. Narcissistic traits can hinder healthy communication and emotional connection, making it challenging to have a healthy relationship.
3. Losing your sense of identity, self-worth, and confidence that you used to have.
A healthy relationship should nurture your individuality. If you’ve noticed a gradual loss of your sense of identity, self-worth, and confidence, it’s a red flag. If you have been isolated from friends or family it’s also a red flag. Whilst it’s fixable, remember that a fulfilling life includes personal growth, and a relationship that stifles your potential may be inhibiting your happiness and overall well-being.
4. There is no positive change after going to relationship counseling together.
Attempting to salvage a relationship through counseling or therapy is fantastic. However, if there’s no positive change and the issues persist, it’s essential to reassess your priorities. Sometimes, despite how many times you and your partner see a counselor, it never gets anywhere because you two are just so different. You may have different values, different goals, and different opinions. Lack of progress may also indicate you haven’t engaged the right professional support, however, it can also highlight irreconcilable differences, or an unwillingness on your partner’s part to actively engage in the necessary changes.
5. Persistent unhappiness
One significant indicator that it might be time to move on is persistent unhappiness. If you find that the majority of your days are marked by dissatisfaction, resentment, or unfulfillment, it’s crucial to assess the source of this discontent within your relationship, or if it’s coming more from within.
6. Lack of emotional connection
A thriving relationship is built on emotional connection and intimacy. If you consistently feel emotionally disconnected from your partner, and unable to share your thoughts and feelings, it may be a sign that the relationship is no longer meeting your emotional needs.
7. Communication breakdown
Effective communication is the foundation of a healthy relationship. If conversations often lead to misunderstandings or arguments, or if you feel unheard and dismissed, it’s essential to evaluate whether the communication breakdown is hindering the growth of the relationship, or is even deririemtal to you and your kids. If you’re living in a house where you and your partner or spouse are always arguing and shouting or screaming at each other, this will take a toll on your children. It will have a real negative effect on their mental health and well-being. They may also grow up thinking that this is the normal way to treat people and what a normal and healthy relationship looks like.
8. Different life goals
As individuals evolve, so do their life goals and aspirations. If you and your partner find yourselves on divergent paths with incompatible long-term goals, it may be an opportune time to reassess whether these differences can be reconciled or if they signal the need for separate journeys.
9. Continuous disrespect
Mutual respect is vital in any relationship. If disrespect has become a recurring theme, whether in the form of belittling comments, dismissive behavior, or a lack of consideration for your feelings, it’s a sign that the relationship may no longer be serving your emotional well-being.
10. Lingering trust issues
Trust is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. If trust has been compromised, and efforts to rebuild it have been unsuccessful, the resulting strain may indicate that the relationship has reached a point where moving on is the healthiest choice.
How to Move Forward
1. Self-reflection
Take the time for self-reflection to understand your own needs, desires, and personal growth. Clarify your priorities and evaluate whether the relationship aligns with your evolving goals.
2. Open communication
If you feel comfortable and it is safe to do so, communicate openly with your partner about your concerns and feelings. Honest communication can be a catalyst for change or, alternatively, for an amicable and understanding separation.
3. Seek professional guidance
As a divorce coach, I recommend seeking guidance from professionals who specialise in family dynamics and divorce. They can provide insights into the legal, practical, and emotional aspects of separation, offering valuable support during this challenging transition.
4. Build a support system
Reach out to friends, family, or support groups (like Thrive Tribe) who understand your situation. Building a strong support system is crucial for emotional well-being during the divorce process.
5. Prioritise self-care
Reconnecting with your sense of self and prioritising self-care is paramount. Engage in activities that bring you joy, rediscover your passions, and focus on rebuilding your confidence and independence.
6. Legal consultation
Consulting with a family law attorney can help you understand your rights and options. A legal professional can guide you through the divorce process, ensuring you make informed decisions that align with your best interests.
Deciding to move on from a relationship is a significant step. You obviously want to make sure that you’re making the very best decision for you and your kids. And recognising the signs that it’s time for that change is an empowering process and a proactive step towards self-discovery and growth, and making choices that align with your well-being and the well-being of your family.
As a divorce coach, my goal is to support mothers in navigating these complexities, helping them emerge from challenging situations with resilience and a renewed sense of self. It takes a while to get back on track, find your feet, and adjust to the changes. But you have got this! Remember, you deserve a life filled with happiness and growth. it’s never too late to prioritize your happiness and embrace a new chapter of personal and emotional fulfillment.
P.S. DID YOU KNOW?
You can also book one-on-one coaching with Julia Hasche from wherever you are in the world!
- Do you need clarity on whether you should leave your partner or not?
- Have you just parted ways with your partner, and feeling lost?
- Have you been single for a little while now and need assistance with getting your life back on track and feeling empowered?
Click HERE to read about coaching and to hear from some others who have gone through coaching programs with Julia, and book in here for your 30-minute complimentary Clarity Call.
The purpose of the Clarity Call is:
- For me to get to know you and understand an overview of your current situation and where you are at.
- For us to establish what you need assistance with to move forward.
- To see if we are both comfortable working together.
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