The simple mindfulness practices that help you cope with trauma

Divorce is a life-altering event, and for mums, it can feel like the ground beneath your feet has vanished. For many mums, it can be a very traumatic experience. And trauma can leave deep emotional scars, affecting every aspect of a person’s life. For single mums, the challenges of healing from trauma are often compounded by the demands of parenting and managing a household alone. You’re likely juggling a whirlwind of emotions, practicalities, and the needs of your children. On top of that, past traumas can resurface, adding another layer of complexity. However, mindfulness offers a powerful tool for coping with trauma and promoting emotional well-being, healing and moving forward. By cultivating present-moment awareness and self-compassion, mindfulness can help you navigate the complexities of recovery and build resilience.

In this blog post, we outline what mindfulness is, how it can help with trauma, the benefits of mindfulness, and explore practical mindfulness exercises and techniques.

What is Mindfulness?

Mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to the present moment without judgment. It’s about becoming aware of your thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations in a kind and curious way.

How Can Mindfulness Help with Trauma?

Trauma can leave you feeling disconnected from your body and emotions. Mindfulness can help you reconnect, allowing you to observe your thoughts and feelings without getting swept away by them. This can be incredibly helpful in managing triggers and reducing anxiety.

The Benefits of Mindfulness in Coping with Trauma

Here are some specific benefits of mindfulness for mums going through divorce:

1. Reduced Stress and Anxiety

Mindfulness techniques like meditation and deep breathing can activate the relaxation response in your body, counteracting the fight-or-flight response, often triggered by trauma. They help calm the mind, activate the parasympathetic nervous system, and reduce the physiological responses to stress. This can be especially beneficial for trauma survivors, who may experience heightened anxiety and stress triggers.

2. Improved Emotional Regulation

Mindfulness helps you become aware of your emotions without judgment. This allows you to observe and accept your feelings without becoming overwhelmed by them, which means you can respond rather than react. Your ability to manage intense emotions is then improved which reduces the risk of emotional outbursts (especially if you get an email from your ex that might otherwise make you see red). This is crucial for navigating the difficult emotions that come with divorce.

3. Increases Self-Compassion

Mindfulness cultivates kindness towards yourself. It allows you to acknowledge your struggles without shame and treat yourself with understanding. This is crucial for trauma survivors, who may struggle with feelings of shame, guilt, or self-blame. By practising self-compassion, you can begin to heal these negative self-perceptions.

4. Enhances Body Awareness

Trauma can disconnect you from your physical sensations. It is mind-blowing how completely detached we can get about what is going on in our bodies. Mindfulness helps you reconnect with your body, allowing you to identify early signs of stress and take steps to manage them.

5. Improves Focus and Clarity

Divorce can be overwhelming, and trauma can add to it leading to difficulties with concentration and memory. Mindfulness practices can help you focus on the present moment, reducing mental clutter and promoting clear thinking. This can make it easier to not only complete daily tasks but also to keep your mind clear and therefore more able to make some of the really tough decisions that need to be made when separating.

6. Enhances Physical Health

The mind-body connection is strong, and there is more and more research that shows mindfulness can lead to improvements in physical health. Regular practice can reduce symptoms of chronic pain, lower blood pressure, and improve sleep quality. We could all use a bit of that, right?

Practical Mindfulness Exercises and Techniques

Incorporating mindfulness into your daily routine doesn’t require large chunks of time. Here are some practical exercises and techniques you can use to promote emotional well-being:

1. Mindful Breathing

One of the simplest and most effective mindfulness practices is mindful breathing. Spend a few minutes each day focusing on your breath.

How to Practice:

Find a quiet place and sit comfortably.
Close your eyes and take a deep breath in through your nose, counting to four.
Hold your breath for a count of four.
Slowly exhale through your mouth, counting to six.
Repeat this process for a few minutes, focusing solely on your breath and how it feels.

2. Body Scan Meditation

This practice helps you become aware of the physical sensations in your body, promoting relaxation and reducing tension.

How to Practice:

Lie down or sit comfortably with your eyes closed.
Take a few deep breaths to relax.
Start by focusing on your toes and gradually move your attention up through your body, part by part.
Notice any sensations, discomfort, or tension without judgment.
Breathe into each area and allow it to relax before moving on to the next.

3. Mindful Walking

Incorporating mindfulness into daily activities like walking can be a powerful way to stay present and grounded.

How to Practice:

As you walk, focus on the sensation of your feet touching the ground.
Notice the rhythm of your steps and the movement of your body.
Pay attention to your surroundings, the sounds, and the sights without getting lost in thought.
If your mind wanders, gently bring your focus back to the act of walking.

4. Loving-Kindness Meditation

This practice, otherwise known as Metta, involves directing kind and loving thoughts towards yourself and others, which can be particularly healing for trauma survivors.

How to Practice:

Sit comfortably and close your eyes.
Take a few deep breaths to centre yourself.
Silently repeat phrases like “May I be happy, may I be healthy, may I be safe, may I live with ease.”
After a few minutes, extend these wishes to others, starting with loved ones and gradually including neutral individuals and even those you have difficulties with.

5. Mindful Journaling

Writing can be a therapeutic way to process emotions and experiences.

How to Practice:

Set aside a few minutes each day to write in a journal.
Focus on your current feelings, thoughts, and experiences without judgment.
Allow yourself to express whatever comes to mind, using the act of writing as a way to observe and release emotions.

6. The 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique

This simple act of focusing on your senses brings you back to the present moment and helps regulate emotions.

How to Practice:

When you feel overwhelmed, take a moment to ground yourself in the present.
Name 5 things you can see.
Name 4 things you can touch.
Name 3 things you can hear.
Name 2 things you can smell.
Name 1 thing you can taste.

7. Mindful Dishwashing

Turn a mundane chore, like washing the dishes, into a mindful practice. Focus on the present moment and the sensations you’re experiencing, rather than dwelling on worries.

How to Practice:

As you wash the dishes, feel the warm water on your hands.
Notice the texture of the dishes.
Listen to the sounds of the water running.

This can also be done with other mundane tasks like cooking. Slow down while preparing a meal. Savour the sights, smells, and textures of the ingredients. Notice the rhythm of chopping vegetables or stirring a pot.

8. A Mindful Cup of Tea or Coffee

Appreciate the simple act of self-care in this moment of drinking a cup of tea or coffee.

How to Practice:

Instead of rushing through your morning coffee or tea, sir down somewhere and savour it.
Notice the aroma, the warmth on your hands, and the taste on your tongue.

9. The Mindful Minute

Taking a minute every so often can help you take a pause, and bring you back to the present moment.

How to Practice:

Set a timer for one minute and find a quiet corner.
Close your eyes and focus solely on your breath.
Notice the rise and fall of your chest and the sensation of air entering and leaving your nostrils.
If your mind wanders, gently bring your attention back to your breath.

10. Mindful Parenting

This quality time strengthens your bond and fosters a sense of connection.

How to Practice:

During playtime with your children, be fully present.
Put away distractions and focus on their energy, laughter, and joy.

These are just a few examples, and there are many other mindfulness exercises available online and in apps.

Mindfulness offers a compassionate and effective approach to coping with trauma. By integrating mindfulness practices into your daily routine, you can enhance your emotional well-being, reduce stress, and build resilience. Remember, the journey of healing is unique for everyone, and it’s important to find the practices that resonate most with you. Explore what works best for you and incorporate it into your daily routine. With patience and consistency, mindfulness can become a powerful ally in your recovery journey, helping you to thrive and live your best life despite the challenges of trauma.

P.S. DID YOU KNOW?

Thrive Tribe – the global membership experience for single mothers – will be opening again very soon! Join the waitlist here.

PLUS You can book one-on-one coaching with Julia Hasche from wherever you are in the world!

Do you need clarity on whether you should leave your partner or not?
Have you just parted ways with your partner, and feeling lost?
Have you been single for a little while now and need assistance with getting your life back on track and feeling empowered?

Click HERE to read about coaching and to hear from some others who have gone through coaching programs with Julia, and book in here for your 30-minute complimentary Clarity Call.

The purpose of the Clarity Call is:

For me to get to know you and understand an overview of your current situation and where you are at.
For us to establish what you need assistance with to move forward.
To see if we are both comfortable working together.