Being a single mum is a challenging feat, and going through a separation or divorce on top of that can feel like an emotional rollercoaster. It’s completely normal to experience a wide range of emotions, from sadness and anger to confusion and fear. This grief is a natural response to the loss of your relationship and the life you envisioned for your family. It’s the letting go of so many things. On top of that, there’s a good chance you’re in survival mode. And you may have been through trauma or be emotionally very dysregulated. All this whilst still getting up and driving your kids to school.
The good news is there are tools you can use to navigate these emotional ups and downs and move forward in a healthy way. Here are three tools for managing grief as a single mum after separation.
1. Mindfulness
Mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to the present moment without judgment. It can be a powerful tool for managing difficult emotions and to help you with managing grief as a single mum after separation. By focusing on your breath and bodily sensations, you can create space between yourself and your thoughts and feelings, allowing you to observe them without getting swept away by them.
There are many mindfulness apps available that can help, such as Calm or Insight Timer. And there are many mindfulness exercises you can try, such as mindful breathing, body scan meditation, and guided visualisations. Calm even has a guided meditation course specifically on grief. Otherwise, you can simply find a quiet place to sit and focus on your breath for a few minutes each day. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, take slow, deep breaths to activate your body’s relaxation response. For example, inhale for a count of four, hold for a count of four and exhale for a count of eight. Repeat this for a few minutes until you feel calmer.
2. Journaling
Journaling is a great way to process your emotions and to get clear on your thoughts and ultimately will help you in managing grief as a single mum after separation. Simply write down whatever comes to mind, without worrying about grammar or spelling. This can be a helpful way to identify patterns in your emotions and track your progress over time. You can also use journaling to set goals for yourself and brainstorm coping mechanisms.
3. Seek support
Going through a divorce or managing grief as a single mum after separation is a lot to handle on your own. So don’t be afraid to reach out for support from friends, family, a therapist, or a coach (like me!). Talking to someone who understands what you’re going through can be incredibly helpful. There are also many support groups available for single mums going through divorce.
Here are some additional tips for managing grief after divorce:
- Allow yourself to feel your emotions. Don’t try to bottle them up.
- Be patient with yourself. Healing takes time.
- Take care of yourself. Make sure you’re eating healthy, getting enough sleep, and exercising regularly. Take care of your basic needs!
- Look for the positive. There are still good things in your life, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.
- Celebrate your accomplishments. No matter how small, take the time to acknowledge your progress.
Remember, you are not alone.
Many women have been through what you’re going through and there’s hope for a brighter future. By integrating the tools above into your daily life, you can learn to manage your grief and start rebuilding your life. And if you’re finding it difficult to cope alone, please reach out to a mental health professional for additional support. But as they say, time is one of the best healers of all.
P.S. DID YOU KNOW?
You can also book one-on-one coaching with Julia Hasche from wherever you are in the world!
- Do you need clarity on whether you should leave your partner or not?
- Have you just parted ways with your partner, and feeling lost?
- Have you been single for a little while now and need assistance with getting your life back on track and feeling empowered?
Click HERE to read about coaching and to hear from some others who have gone through coaching programs with Julia, and book in here for your 30-minute complimentary Clarity Call.
The purpose of the Clarity Call is:
- For me to get to know you and understand an overview of your current situation and where you are at.
- For us to establish what you need assistance with to move forward.
- To see if we are both comfortable working together.
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