To The Single Mum At Christmas

Christmas is supposed to be the happiest time of year, right? It’s the time of year that is supposed to be about happy children, love, celebrations, family, friends, food… For the kids, it sometimes seems it is only about the presents… But Christmas can be very hard on single mums (and single dads too).

Christmas can be a time of reflection and reminiscing about past happy times (or maybe not so happy times). It can be a time of sadness, a time of loneliness, a time of guilt… Have I failed my children? Have I let them down? Could I have done more?

Everywhere we look, there seem to be happy families, children laughing and playing, couples holding hands; it seems no one has a care in the world. Facebook statuses are shared about how happy they are usually accompanied by a family happy snap.

It seems unfair that children may have to be carted around to a series of different people to satisfy various family obligations of both their parents when we expect all they really want is just to be at home with both their mum and dad.

Or perhaps we don’t even get to see our own children on what is supposed to be one of the most special times of the year, That was not we signed up for when we decided to have children, was it?

No. It’s not, and it’s hard.

But remember this girlfriend.

Christmas Day is one day. Come Boxing Day, and it’s all over for another year. And next year it will be just that tiny bit easier.

I really do believe that the Universe guides us on the path that we are supposed to live. Maybe we were on the wrong path, to begin with, or maybe we have lessons to learn and grow. We are single mums for a reason.

You have not failed your children. You have not let them down. One day they will grow up and they will learn that you did everything that you could. They will be happy on Christmas Day if you are. If you are sad and moping around, they will be too.

Remember that INSTAGRAM IS NOT REAL LIFE!!! Neither are the Christmas ads you see on television or in print. I would love to see an ad involving a happy single family Christmas to normalize it more because sadly too many single parents still don’t think they are “normal”. Single-parent families are the fastest-growing family unit in Australia. We are just as normal as any other family.

Often what is posted on social media is a false representation of what is actually real life for people. No one is going to share “Today I felt like sh*t. I had a huge fight with my parents. My husband didn’t even get me a present. Another year of letdowns. I’m thinking about getting a divorce“. Of course, many of the happy snaps are a true reflection of their life, but not all.

The worst part of Christmas for me used to be having to talk to my ex several times. I haven’t yet had to spend Christmas with him. Lucky for me, unlucky for my daughter? which makes it sad for me too. It’s a lose-lose-lose situation. If we did see him it would be a lose-lose-lose situation too as there would be, no doubt, more fighting, and an unhappy little girl. There are usually other family fights too. It’s never a perfect day. But this is normal, don’t stress! #itsnotchristmaswithoutafamilyfight

Know that you are NOT ALONE, and Christmas is only one day. Do something nice for yourself today, particularly if you have to say goodbye to your children. Treat yourself. Drink champagne, relax at the beach, have a bath, or pamper yourself. Be kind to yourself. Focus on what you do have, rather on what you don’t. Know how loved and appreciated you are. Know that you’re an amazing mum.

And if you are feeling vulnerable – stay off social media!

P.S DID YOU KNOW?

You can also book one-on-one coaching with Julia Hasche from wherever you are in the world!

Have you just parted ways with your partner, and feeling lost?
Have you been single for a little while now and need assistance with getting your life back on track and feeling empowered?

Click HERE to read about coaching and to hear from some others who have gone through coaching programs with Julia, and book in here for your 30-minute complimentary Clarity Call.

The purpose of the Clarity Call is:

For me to get to know you and understand an overview of your current situation and where you are at.
For us to establish what you need assistance with to move forward.
To see if we are a good fit to work together.