In today’s world, it’s nearly impossible to escape the influence of social media. We scroll through Instagram, Facebook, or Pinterest and are flooded with images of “perfect” families, mums who seem to have it all together, and seemingly flawless lives. For single mums, especially those recovering from divorce, these images can trigger feelings of inadequacy, unworthiness, or failure. But here’s the thing: Social media rarely reflects real life. It’s time to redefine success on your own terms – and please stop comparing yourself to the curated highlight reels you see online.
The Trap of Social Media Perfection
When you’re navigating life as a single mum, it’s natural to feel like you’re constantly falling short. Between juggling co-parenting, career, finances, and personal well-being, there may be days when just getting through feels like an accomplishment. Then you log onto social media and see posts of families in coordinated holiday outfits, mothers taking luxurious vacations, or perfectly styled homes. You start to wonder, “Why can’t I have that?”
But the problem with social media is that it often presents an idealised version of life – polished and edited to look flawless. What we don’t see are the messy moments, the struggles, or the behind-the-scenes sacrifices that those families are also dealing with. Social media is a highlight reel, not the whole story. Comparing your day-to-day reality to someone else’s curated moments is very unfair – to you.
Redefining Success on Your Own Terms
As a single mum, success looks different for you – and that’s perfectly okay. Instead of chasing an unattainable ideal, it’s time to redefine what success means in your life. Here are some steps to help you create a more authentic, meaningful definition of success:
1. Celebrate Your Strengths
Rather than focusing on what you perceive to be missing, take time to celebrate what you’re doing right. Raising children, managing a household, and building a future after divorce takes immense strength. Acknowledge the resilience, dedication, and love you’re pouring into your family. You’re achieving more than you give yourself credit for.
2. Set Realistic Goals
Success isn’t about keeping up with someone else’s timeline or expectations. Set goals that reflect what truly matters to you. Maybe success is having a peaceful home, improving communication with your ex, or spending quality time with your children. By setting realistic, personal goals, you can focus on progress rather than perfection.
3. Practice Gratitude
Gratitude can shift your perspective from what you don’t have to what you do. Take time each day to reflect on what’s going well. Are your children healthy? Did you make it through a challenging week? Did you have a moment of peace to enjoy your favourite book or show? Focusing on the positives helps counter the unrealistic expectations you may internalise from social media.
4. Embrace Your Unique Journey
Your path as a single mum is unique – and no less valid than the experiences of others. Everyone’s journey looks different, and that’s a good thing. Rather than comparing your story to someone else’s, embrace the lessons you’ve learned and the growth you’ve experienced along the way.
5. Find Your Community
While social media can often foster feelings of isolation, it can also be a tool for connection when used mindfully. Seek out supportive online communities or local groups of single mums who understand your experiences. These connections can remind you that you’re not alone, and you can find solidarity in shared challenges and triumphs.
6. Live a Life Aligned With Your Values
When you live a life that’s aligned with your values, I’d say that is pretty successful!
The Dangers of Unrealistic Expectations
Internalising the “perfect” images you see online can have detrimental effects on your emotional well-being. Unrealistic expectations may lead to feelings of guilt, shame, or even depression. You might begin to think, “If she can do it, why can’t I?” But every mum’s situation is different, and comparing yourself to someone who has an entirely different set of circumstances won’t serve you.
Moreover, social media often glorifies material success and external appearances rather than emotional fulfilment or personal growth. It’s easy to forget that true success isn’t measured by likes, followers, or aesthetic perfection but by the quality of relationships, the strength of your character, and the happiness of your family.
Letting Go of Comparison
Letting go of comparison is easier said than done, but it’s essential for your emotional health and well-being. Here are some strategies to help you break the habit:
- Limit social media use: If scrolling leaves you feeling worse about yourself, set boundaries around your time online. Take breaks and focus on activities that bring you joy in real life.
- Curate your feed: Follow accounts that uplift and inspire you rather than those that perpetuate unrealistic standards. Look for content that celebrates authenticity, vulnerability, and the messy beauty of real life.
- Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself. You’re doing the best you can with the resources and energy you have. Remind yourself that you are enough, just as you are.
Embrace Your New Reality
Success as a single mum is not about how your life measures up to someone else’s social media profile. It’s about creating a life that is fulfilling, joyful, and aligned with your values. When you let go of the pressure to live up to a picture-perfect ideal, you can embrace your new reality with confidence and pride.
Your life is unique, and your version of success is too. Stop comparing yourself to others and start celebrating the incredible job you’re doing every day. You’re writing your own story, and that’s something to be proud of.
P.S. DID YOU KNOW?
Thrive Tribe – the global membership experience for single mothers – will be opening again very soon! Join the waitlist here.
PLUS You can book one-on-one coaching with Julia Hasche from wherever you are in the world!
- Do you need clarity on whether you should leave your partner or not?
- Have you just parted ways with your partner, and feeling lost?
- Have you been single for a little while now and need assistance with getting your life back on track and feeling empowered?
Click HERE to read about coaching and to hear from some others who have gone through coaching programs with Julia, and book in here for your 30-minute complimentary Clarity Call.
The purpose of the Clarity Call is:
- For me to get to know you and understand an overview of your current situation and where you are at.
- For us to establish what you need assistance with to move forward.
- To see if we are both comfortable working together.
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