Divorce is a challenging experience, and navigating it often requires guidance and support. But not all advice is created equal. While many divorce coaches provide helpful insights, there are some hard truths that they might avoid sharing. These are the truths that, although difficult to hear, can empower you to take control of your life and move forward with strength and clarity. Here are five things most divorce coaches are too afraid to tell you.
1. Don’t Be a Victim – You Are Not a Victim
It’s easy to feel like a victim when your marriage ends, especially if you don’t want a divorce. The pain, anger, and sense of loss can be overwhelming. But here’s the truth: you are not a victim. Life doesn’t just happen to you; you have the power to shape your future. Playing the victim may bring temporary comfort, but it will keep you stuck in a cycle of blame and helplessness. Whilst initially, of course, grief is common, you don’t want this to extend in an unhealthy way.
Instead of focusing on what was done to you, focus on what you can do now. Reclaim your power by taking responsibility for your life moving forward. This mindset shift is crucial for your healing and growth. You are stronger than you think, and you have the ability to rebuild a life that is fulfilling and joyful.
2. Stop Complaining and Make Changes – Take Action
Complaining about your ex, your situation, or the unfairness of it all might feel good in the moment, but it doesn’t solve anything. It keeps you anchored in negativity and prevents you from moving forward. The harsh truth is that change only happens when you take action.
If you’re unhappy with your circumstances, identify what you can control and start making changes. Whether it’s finding a better job, improving your health, or setting boundaries with your ex, taking proactive steps is the only way to create the life you want. Complaining won’t get you there, but action will.
3. Be Careful Who You Get Advice From – Choose Wisely
When you’re going through a divorce, everyone seems to have an opinion. Friends, family, and even strangers might offer advice based on their own experiences. But here’s the catch: their advice may not be right for you.
Be especially cautious of friends who project their own unresolved issues onto you or groups that are filled with negativity or anti-male sentiments. These sources of advice can be more harmful than helpful, leading you down a path of bitterness rather than healing. Seek guidance from professionals who can offer objective, constructive advice, and surround yourself with people who genuinely want the best for you and encourage your growth.
4. Your Ex Deserves to See Their Kids – You Are Not More Important
This one might sting, but it’s vital for the well-being of your children. No matter what happened between you and your ex, they still have the right to be a parent to their children. Unless there are legitimate safety concerns, denying your ex access to the kids only hurts the children in the long run.
You may not agree with their parenting style or decisions, but that doesn’t make your role more important than theirs. Children benefit from having both parents involved in their lives. Putting your feelings aside for the sake of your kids is one of the most selfless things you can do. Co-parenting effectively means prioritising your children’s needs over your own grievances.
5. Watch Out for Lawyers – Don’t Waste Your Money
Divorce is a legal process, and lawyers play an essential role. However, not all lawyers have your best interests at heart. Some may drag out the process or escalate conflicts to increase their fees. It’s easy to get caught up in a legal battle, but before you know it, you could be spending a fortune on something that could have been resolved with less drama and cost.
Be smart about your legal representation. Look for a lawyer who supports mediation and negotiation rather than endless court battles. The more amicable the divorce process, the less money you’ll waste on legal fees – and the more you’ll have to invest in your future.
Facing these truths isn’t easy, but they are essential for your growth and healing. By rejecting the victim mentality, taking action, being selective about advice, encouraging your children’s relationship with their other parent, and being cautious with legal battles, you can navigate your divorce with strength and integrity.
Remember my friend, this is your journey, and you have the power to shape your future. Embrace these hard truths, and let them guide you toward a brighter, more empowered chapter of your life. You’ve got this!
P.S. DID YOU KNOW?
Thrive Tribe – the global membership experience for single mothers – will be opening again very soon! Join the waitlist here.
PLUS You can book one-on-one coaching with Julia Hasche from wherever you are in the world!
- Do you need clarity on whether you should leave your partner or not?
- Have you just parted ways with your partner, and feeling lost?
- Have you been single for a little while now and need assistance with getting your life back on track and feeling empowered?
Click HERE to read about coaching and to hear from some others who have gone through coaching programs with Julia, and book in here for your 30-minute complimentary Clarity Call.
The purpose of the Clarity Call is:
- For me to get to know you and understand an overview of your current situation and where you are at.
- For us to establish what you need assistance with to move forward.
- To see if we are both comfortable working together.
Know someone who needs to read this? Share it with them via the links below.