Why your first call after separating should be to a divorce coach

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Divorce throws curveballs like nobody’s business. As a single mum, you’re facing double the emotional turmoil, juggling kids, finances, and the rollercoaster of uncertainty. All of this can leave you feeling lost, overwhelmed, and unsure of where to turn. Our gut reaction, and often what everyone tells us to do, is to call a lawyer. Now, I’m not saying lawyers aren’t important – they are legal experts, after all. But consider this… What if there was someone who could guide you through the emotional and practical aspects of separation before the courtroom drama begins? And maybe a whole lot of legal stress could even be avoided in the process? This would save you a lot of stress, not to mention money. Lawyers might seem like the obvious answer, but for single mums, there’s another powerful ally waiting in the wings: the divorce coach.

 A divorce coach can be your guiding light through the emotional, practical, and even financial complexities of separation. And this can empower you to navigate this journey with strength and clarity. Because divorce coaches focus on YOU, the amazing, resilient human being at the heart of it all.

Here’s why you need to call a divorce coach after separating and why it just might be the single mum superhero you need.

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1. Clarity through the chaos

Feeling overwhelmed and unsure of your next step? Lawyers are brilliant at legal strategy, but they might not be equipped to hold your hand through the emotional rollercoaster. A certified divorce coach provides a safe space to process your emotions. They also help you regulate your nervous system, and work out your next steps with a clear head, knowledge, and a strong foundation. A divorce can leave us feeling at our absolute lowest. And it’s at this point that we have to make the most important decisions that could potentially affect the rest of our lives.

As a certified divorce coach myself, I work with mums who are feeling overwhelmed by the emotional part of potential divorce and help them manage those big feelings and work out what it is they want moving forward. This is done with intention, knowledge, and strategy so they are prepared to make decisions that will affect the rest of their lives. As well as their children’s lives.

2. Communication that doesn’t burn bridges

Divorce usually involves navigating communication with your ex, which can be a battlefield. A certified divorce coach teaches you healthy communication skills and empowers you to advocate for yourself and your children’s needs effectively. This can potentially help you avoid unnecessary legal battles and result in a smoother separation. This is why it’s crucial to call a divorce coach after separating. This can then also lead to a calmer co-parenting environment, benefiting everyone, especially your precious kids.

3. Protecting your little ones

Your children are your priority. A divorce coach can equip you with strategies for minimising the impact of divorce on your kids. This then fosters healthy communication, conflict resolution, and co-parenting that prioritises their well-being.

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4. Finances

Knowledge is power. While lawyers handle legal aspects, coaches empower you with the financial literacy you need to make informed decisions. They help you understand your financial situation, create a budget, and explore options for managing future expenses. This will ensure you’re prepared for the future.

5. From broken to empowered

Divorce can leave you feeling lost and broken. A coach is your cheerleader and guide on the path to rebuilding your confidence. They help you identify your strengths, develop healthy coping mechanisms, and gain back the self-esteem to face challenges with resilience and optimism.

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6. Vision forward

A coach helps you clarify your goals and desires, ensuring you approach the process with a clear vision of what you want for yourself and your children.

7. Money saver!

Legal fees can quickly add up. Coaching is often more affordable and can even help you avoid unnecessary legal battles. This will save you money and emotional stress in the long run. Which is why it’s crucial to call a divorce coach after separating.

While a divorce coach is not a substitute for a family law attorney (nor allowed to give legal advice), they can work in conjunction with your lawyer to ensure that your legal strategy aligns with your emotional needs and overall goals. They can also help equip you with the right questions to bring to the legal table to reduce your time with the lawyer. A divorce coach equips you with the financial knowledge to make informed decisions about your assets, debts, and future budget. This coordinated approach can lead to a more efficient use of legal resources, potentially saving you LOTS of money in the long run. Plus, it empowers you to approach the legal process with financial clarity.

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A divorce coach can be your trusted companion in the early stages, helping you navigate the emotional rollercoaster, communication and boundaries with your ex, and practical aspects of separation. They provide you with the tools and clarity you need to approach the legal process with confidence and protect your well-being, your children’s happiness, and your financial security.

So, before you call a lawyer, consider calling a divorce coach after separating. It might just be the empowering step you need to weather this storm and emerge stronger, happier, and ready to thrive.

Ready to call a divorce coach after separating?

When looking for a divorce coach, it is always important to check they are certified. In Australia, there is currently no overarching regulating body that oversees coaches.  This means that basically, anyone can call themselves a coach or a divorce coach without any qualifications. Going through a divorce does not make someone qualified to be a divorce coach, so please check the credentials of the divorce coaches that you are looking to work with.

As for me, I am a Certified Divorce Coach and a Certified Transition and Recovery Coach, blogger, podcast host, and author specialising in women who have children. Women come to me because they may be thinking about separation from their partner or spouse, going through the separation, or have come out the other side but have lost themselves and their self-esteem, are stuck in a rut, and are unsure or unable to move forward.

They often feel overwhelmed, alone, broken, afraid, embarrassed, and angry. Or they may feel guilty and worried about how their breakup will affect their children. They ultimately want change but are not sure how to get there. They may be having co-parenting challenges. Or they may be stuck in a state of dysregulation or in a place where they are living with unresolved trauma.

I help them rebuild their lives, reconnect with themselves and gain back their self-esteem, empower them to feel secure and confident within themselves, get direction, transform trauma, set goals, and feel happy, hopeful, and excited about the future. And I also teach strategies to experience a more peaceful co-parenting environment and set boundaries that lead to increased mental well-being and happiness.

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I work with a variety of different mums:

1. The mum who is having to make a hard decision about ending a marriage

She is unsure of what to do and what her future looks like (and that of her children). She is frustrated with indecision, emotions, and lack of knowledge. Her biggest dream is to be informed, prepared, and emotionally regulated so she can finally get clarity around what she wants, and feel good about her choices.

2. The divorcing mum who wants to be prepared to enter mediation or court from an interest-based solution-focused perspective.

She wants to identify her goals and priorities, develop effective communication strategies, and show up as the best version of herself. She is frustrated with not knowing what to expect and worried her emotions will get in the way. Her biggest dream is to get a successful outcome at mediation or court.

3. The mum who is currently going through a divorce.

This mum is ready to put all of it behind her. She is frustrated with having so much to do and work out, the money that is being spent on legal resources, and all the associated worry and stress. Her biggest dream is to be prepared and informed so that she can make the best decisions for herself and save time, money, and emotional energy in the process.

4. Mums who are experiencing conflict in their co-parenting relationship.

This mum is ready to protect herself through communication and boundary strategies. She is frustrated with the constant conflict, toxicity, and stress in her co-parenting relationship. Her biggest dream is a more peaceful co-parenting environment so that she can increase her mental well-being and happiness.

5. Mums who have come out the otehr side of a separation or divorce and want change.

This mum has lost herself and her self-esteem, is stuck in a rut, and is unsure or unable to move forward. She is frustrated with feeling overwhelmed, lonely, broken, afraid, embarrassed, angry, and guilty and worried about how the breakup will affect her children. She is sick of feeling emotionally all over the place and living with unresolved trauma. Her biggest dream is a life of happiness.

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My passion started after becoming a single mother myself in 2013, with a newborn baby. I left my job as a mining engineer, re-trained, and started my business in 2015. During that time I have also done additional training in mindfulness, yoga, trauma, and Embodied Trauma Integration involving poly-vagal theory, nervous system regulation and repair, integrating past pains and healing through Internal Family Systems Therapy®, somatic practices, releasing anger, and setting boundaries, all to support deeper healing and transformation for my clients.

If you’d like to get in touch with me about coaching, you can book a free clarity call here. We’ll have a thirty-minute discussion about where you are at and what you need help or support with. I’ll then let you know how I can help and what coaching package is best for you. During the call, you’ll also have the opportunity to ask me any questions about me and the process. If you decide you’d like to sign up for a coaching package, we discuss how to get the ball rolling on that. I’ve got you!


P.S. DID YOU KNOW?

Thrive Tribe – the global membership experience for single mothers – will be opening again very soon! Join the waitlist here.

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